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en_tn_condensed/neh/01/11.md

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the prayer of your servant

Here "servant" refers to Nehemiah. This is how a person would address his superior in order to show humility and respect. See how you translated this in Nehemiah 1:6.

the prayer of your servants

Here "servants" refers to the rest of the Israelite people who would have been praying for Yahweh to act on behalf of his people and on behalf of Jerusalem.

who delight to honor your name

Here "name" represents Yahweh himself. Alternate translation: "who delight to honor you" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metonymy)

grant him mercy in the sight of this man

Here "him" refers to Nehemiah, who refers to himself in the third person to express his humility before God, and "this man" refers to Artaxerxes, the king of Persia.

in the sight of this man

Nehemiah speaks of the king's attitude or disposition as if it were how the king viewed something. Alternate translation: "grant that the king will have mercy on me" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metaphor)

I served as cupbearer to the king

This is background information about Nehemiah's role in the king's court. Your language may have a special way to mark background information. (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/writing-background)