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en_tn_condensed/lev/03/09.md

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as an offering made by fire

This can be stated in active form. Alternate translation: "as a burnt offering" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)

The fat, the entire fat ... the kidneys—he will remove all of this

The statement "he will remove all of this" can be placed at the beginning of the sentence. Alternate translation: "He will remove the fat, the entire fat ... the kidneys"

inner parts

This is the stomach and intestines.

that is near the inner parts, and the two kidneys

A new sentence can start here. Alternate translation: "that is near the inner parts. He must remove the kidneys"