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if you have me as a partner
"if you think of me as a fellow worker for Christ"
charge that to me
"say that I am the one who owes you"
I, Paul, write this with my own hand
"I, Paul, write this myself." Paul wrote this part with his own hand so that Philemon would know that the words were really from Paul. Paul really would pay him.
not to mention
"I do not need to remind you" or "You already know." Paul says he does not need to tell Philemon this, but then continues to tell him anyway. This emphasizes the truth of what Paul is telling him. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-irony)
you owe me your own self
"you owe me your own life." Paul was implying that Philemon should not say that Onesimus or Paul owed him anything because Philemon owed Paul even more. The reason Philemon owed Paul his life can be made explicit. AT: "you owe me much because I saved your life" or "you owe me your own life because what I told you saved your life" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)
refresh my heart
Here "refresh" is a metaphor for comfort or encourage. How Paul wanted Philemon to do this can be made explicit. AT: "encourage me" or "comfort me" or "refresh my heart by accepting Onesimus kindly" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metaphor and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)