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Connecting Statement:
The young servants continue to speak to the king.
Let the king ... the king's official ... pleases the king
The servants spoke to the king in third person as a sign of respect. AT: "You should ... your official ... pleases you" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)
provinces
A province is a large area into which some countries are divided for the purposes of government. See how you translated this in Esther 1:1.
harem
where the wives of a man with many wives live
the fortress
This refers to a castle, stronghold or fortified city. See how you translated this in Esther 1:2.
Susa
See how you translated the name of this place in Esther 1:2. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-names)
Let them be put under the care of Hegai, the king's official, who is in charge of the women
This can be stated in active form. AT: "Let Hegai, the king's official, who is in charge of the women, take care of them" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)
Hegai
This is a man's name. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-names)
their cosmetics
A "cosmetic" is a substance such as a cream, lotion, or powder that women usually put on their face or body to improve their appearance.