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Daughter of my people
Jeremiah shows Yahweh's love for his people by speaking to them as a daughter. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 4:11. Alternate translation: "My people, you who are like a daughter to me" or "My dear people" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metaphor)
gird yourself with sackcloth and roll in ashes
People do these things to show that they are extremely sad. Alternate translation: "Show how sad you are by wearing sackcloth and rolling in ashes" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/translate-symaction)
gird yourself with sackcloth
People would wear sackcloth to show that they were very sad. In this context it would be to show that they were very sorry for the bad things they had done. The command "gird yourselves," which usually means "prepare for work" or "prepare for battle" is ironic: they are to prepare to mourn, not to work or fight. See how you translated similar words in Jeremiah 4:8. Alternate translation: "put on the clothes that show you are mourning" or "prepare to mourn" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/translate-symaction and rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-irony)
mourn with painful sobs as for an only son
Jeremiah compares the people's great sadness to the sadness that a mother feels if her only son dies. Alternate translation: "mourn with painful sobs as you would if your only son died" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-simile)
for the destroyer will suddenly come upon us
"because the enemy army will suddenly come to attack us"