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Then the word of Yahweh came to Jeremiah after ... dictation, saying, "Go

The idiom "The word of Yahweh came" is used to introduce a special message from God. See how you translated a similar phrase in Jeremiah 1:4. AT: "Then Yahweh gave a message to Jeremiah after ... dictation. He said, 'Go" or "After ... dictation, Yahweh spoke this message to Jeremiah: 'Go" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)

to Jeremiah ... Jeremiah's dictation

It is not clear why Jeremiah is referring to himself by name here. You may translate using first person, as the UDB does. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-123person)

at Jeremiah's dictation

See how you translated similar words in Jeremiah 36:4.

Go back, take another scroll for yourself

"Take another scroll for yourself again"

the original scroll

"the first scroll"

Why have you written on it ... beast in it'?

Jehoiakim uses this question to emphasize that Jeremiah should not have written that the king of Babylon would come and attack. AT: "You should not have written ... beast in it!" or "You were wrong to write ... beast in it'!" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-rquestion)

for he will destroy

"and he will destroy"

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