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Connecting Statement:
Yahweh continues telling Moses what the people must do every year.
on that day
"on the Day of Atonement"
This will be a permanent statute throughout your people's generations
This means that they and their descendants must obey this command forever. See how you translated a similar phrase in Leviticus 3:17.
a Sabbath of solemn rest
This is not the same as the Sabbath they observed every week on the seventh day. This was a special Sabbath on the Day of Atonement.
you must humble yourselves
In this case humbling themselves implies that they would not eat any food. This can be stated clearly. AT: "you must humble yourselves and eat nothing" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)
the ninth day of the month
This refers to the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar. The ninth day is near the end of September on Western calendars. This can be made explicit. AT: "the ninth day of the seventh month" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)
From evening to evening
"From sunset to sunset on the next day"