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If it pleases the king ... in his eyes ... before the king ... in his eyes
Esther is speaking to the king in third person to show him respect. Alternate translation: "If it pleases you, the king ... in your eyes ... before you, the king ... in your eyes" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-123person)
If it pleases the king
"If what I ask for pleases the king"
if I have found favor in his eyes
Here "found favor" is an idiom that means be approved of or that he is pleased with her. Here "eyes" are a metonym for sight, and sight is a metaphor representing his evaluation. Alternate translation: "if he is pleased with me" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-idiom and rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metonymy and rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metaphor)
if the thing seems proper before the king
"Before the king" here is a metaphor representing his evaluation. Alternate translation: "if the king thinks that what I ask for is proper" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metaphor)
I am pleasing in his eyes
Here "his eyes" is a metonym for sight, and sight is a metaphor representing his evaluation. Alternate translation: "he is pleased with me" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metonymy and rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-metaphor)
revoke
take back and make of no effect
the letters
You may need to use a word for written instructions that is more general than "letter" so that the reader does not think that these documents were about only personal matters.
Hammedatha
This is the name of a man. (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/translate-names)
provinces
A province is a large area into which some countries are divided for the purposes of government. See how you translated this in Esther 1:1.