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God remains in us ... we remain in him and he in us
To remain in someone means to continue to have fellowship with him. See how you translated "remains in God" in 1 John 2:5-6. AT: "God continues to have fellowship with us ... we continue to have fellowship with God and he continues to have fellowship with us" or "God stays joined to us ... we stay joined to God and he stays joined to us" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metaphor)
and he in us
The word "remains" is understood from the previous phrase. AT: "and he remains in us" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-ellipsis)
By this we know ... us, because he has given
Your translation may be clearer if you omit either "by this" or "because." AT: "We know ... us because he gave" or "By this we know ... us: he gave"
because he has given us some of his Spirit
"because he gave us his Spirit" or "because he has put his Holy Spirit in us." This phrase, however, does not imply that God has less of his Spirit after he has given us some.