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It happened
This phrase is used here to mark the beginning of a new part of the story. If your language has a way for doing this, you could consider using it here.
the twelfth year ... fifth day ... tenth month
"the 12th year ... 5th day ... 10th month" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-ordinal)
on the fifth day of the tenth month
This is the tenth month of the Hebrew calendar. The fifth day is near the beginning of January on Western calendars. (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-hebrewmonths and rc://en/ta/man/translate/translate-ordinal)
of our captivity
Here "our" refers to Ezekiel and the Israelites who have been in Babylon since the time the Babylonians forced King Jehoiachin to leave Jerusalem, but not to the reader. AT: "after we became captives" or "after the Babylonians took us as captives to Babylon" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-exclusive and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-explicit)
a fugitive came to me from Jerusalem
"someone escaped from Jerusalem and came to me" The Babylonians had destroyed Jerusalem and killed the people of Jerusalem, but a few people escaped.
The city has been captured
The phrase "the city" refers to "Jerusalem." This can be stated in active form. AT: "The Babylonians have destroyed Jerusalem" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)
The hand of Yahweh had been on me
The word "hand" is often used to refer to someone's power or action. A person with his hand on another person has power over that person. See how you translated a similar phrase in Ezekiel 1:3. AT: "Yahweh was controlling me" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)
my mouth was opened
This phrase is an idiom that means to be able to speak. It can be stated in active form. See how you translated "I will open your mouth" in Ezekiel 3:27. AT: "I was able to speak" or "Yahweh enabled me to speak" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom and rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)
dawn
The word "dawn" refers to the time early in the morning when the light of the sun first appears.
I was no longer mute
"I was no longer forced to be silent" or "I was no longer unable to speak" Ezekiel had been unable to speak anything except prophetic words since Ezekiel 3:26.