en_tn_condensed/rev/06/04.md

came out—fiery red

This can the stated as a second sentence. Alternate translation: "came out. It was red like fire" or "came out. It was bright red"

To its rider was given permission

This can be stated with an active verb. Alternate translation: "God gave permission to its rider" or "Its rider received person" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-activepassive)

This rider was given a huge sword

This can be stated with an active verb. Alternate translation: "This rider received a huge sword" or "God gave this rider a huge sword" (See: rc://en/ta/man/jit/figs-activepassive)

a huge sword

"a very large sword" or "a great sword"