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the priests who were anointed and who were ordained
This can be stated in active form AT: "the priests whom Moses anointed and ordained" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-activepassive)
Nadab ... Abihu ... Ithamar
See how you translated these men's names in Numbers 3:2.
fell dead before Yahweh
The phrase "fell dead" means to suddenly die. AT: "suddenly died before Yahweh" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-idiom)
before Yahweh
This refers to Yahweh's presence, meaning that Yahweh saw everything that happened. AT: "in Yahweh's presence" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)
they offered to him unacceptable fire
Here the word "fire" is used to refer to "burning incense." AT: "they burned an incense offering in a way that Yahweh did not approve of" (See: rc://en/ta/man/translate/figs-metonymy)